


birthdays are for getting lonely and existential

by astraversa



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Birthday, Canon Compliant, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Gen, M/M, Not Epilogue Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:33:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24983881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astraversa/pseuds/astraversa
Summary: Trolls don't celebrate their Wriggling Days, but Dave's noticed Karkat tends to get all lonely and existential on the date anyway. He's determined to avoid that this year if at all possible.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 3
Kudos: 68





	birthdays are for getting lonely and existential

KARKAT: NO, DAVE. MY ANSWER IS THE SAME AS LAST YEAR.   
KARKAT: AND THE YEAR BEFORE THAT!   
KARKAT: IN FACT, IT'S THE SAME AS WHEN THIS FIRST CAME UP SWEEPS AGO  
KARKAT: WE'RE *NOT* CELEBRATING MY WRIGGLING DAY.   
DAVE: dude cmon  


Dave was familiar with Karkat’s argument. Some of it even made sense, plus Karkat was pretty traumatised when he learned the whole Troll Kingdom had made it into a holiday about SGRUB. Shit was rough. But Dave’s always countered that made it all the more reason to make it a good day for Karkat, especially when he could tell Karkat enjoyed his friends being thoughtful enough to remember. Which is why usually Karkat gave in after some typical grousing.

Except today was different. Karkat had crossed his arms firmly, bright red eyes staring directly into Dave’s shades with not even a hint of a challenge - just pure conviction. He wasn’t giving in.

KARKAT: OK, LOOK   
KARKAT: I’M NOT GOING TO BOTHER REHASHING THE WHOLE SWEEPS VERSUS YEARS ARGUMENT.  
KARKAT: WHENEVER I END UP HAVING TO TALK TIME WITH YOU IT LEAVES ME WITH A HEADACHE.  
DAVE: im just saying time is stupid and if we took it that seriously my birthday would now technically be in november  
KARKAT: AND YET YOU INSIST ON CELEBRATING MY WRIGGLING DAY COMPLETELY OUT OF SYNC WITH ITS ACTUAL DATE!  
KARKAT: BUT THAT’S BESIDES THE POINT. AS ALWAYS. THE CORE THESIS YOU ELECT TO IGNORE EVERY TIME.  
KARKAT: TROLLS DON’T CELEBRATE WRIGGLING DAYS.  


See? Dave knew that was where Karkat was going with it, and it wasn’t going to stop Dave. He knew what the problem actually was. With the utter failure of John’s surprise birthday bash just two months ago, Karkat was more determined than ever not to enjoy himself. It might even be reasonable too, since John had hinted hard that he didn’t want to celebrate but Jade organised the party anyway. Then there was the fact that it was also Jane’s birthday, and she and her Dad brought cake…

Yikes.

It’s all good now, but Dave would rather not see a repeat of what went down. And of course Karkat feels the same. It’s no wonder that in light of what happened he would up his demands that his own birthday be ignored too, but more to the point, he would make those demands as some messed up show of solidarity. Karkat would deny it, but Dave knew what it really was. It was cute. It was also stupid.

And to battle stupid you need to be stupid.

DAVE: ok but its not my fault that thesis is weak as your secret grubsauce recipe  
KARKAT: HOW DARE YOU  
DAVE: its watery and barely has any flavor dude im sorry thats just how it is  
DAVE: but seriously  
DAVE: it really doesnt have to be a big deal   
DAVE: just an excuse to appreciate the existence of my bestest of bros  
DAVE: my realest of roomies  
DAVE: my coolest of compadres  
DAVE: ok maybe thats going a little too far  
KARKAT: FIRST OF ALL, IT’S NOT MY FAULT THAT EARTH C SUBSTITUTIONS FOR ESSENTIAL GRUBSAUCE INGREDIENTS ARE SO BLAND.  
KARKAT: LET’S JUST ACKNOWLEDGE THAT FIRST, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY OWN COOKING ABILITIES.  
DAVE: ugh i shouldnt have said anything  
KARKAT: *SECOND* OF ALL  
KARKAT: WAY TO RUIN IT, IDIOT.  


Yet despite Karkat’s indignation, there's a softness to his frown that tells Dave it wasn’t ruined at all. Heartened, he keeps going.

DAVE: ok but consider this  
DAVE: no one else has to be here for it   
DAVE: all it has to be is you n me and these party hats  
DAVE: ok i also got these whatchamacallits  
DAVE: party blowers  
DAVE: wait no that sounds hella wrong  
DAVE: fun whistles  
DAVE: yeah thats it nailed it  


To make his point, Dave toots the kazoo he picked up. Yeah, he knows the actual name for it - what is he, an utter pleb? He’s just throwing Karkat a bone here, something else to react to.

No dice. The troll has returned to being utterly stone-faced. 

Shit’s dire when Dave’s ridiculousness can’t even elicit a tantrum. Case in point: The grubsauce fiasco earlier. It should be that easy.

DAVE: wow nothing really  
DAVE: i know ill never be able to out-do the mayor when it comes to quintessential human childhood experiences as a heartwarming cultural exchange  
DAVE: just cant beat that sincerity  
DAVE: but i wouldve thought id get SOMETHING for that  
KARKAT: DON’T  
KARKAT: DON’T BRING UP THE MAYOR  
KARKAT: IT’S TOO SOON.  
DAVE: thats fair may he rest in peace  


They both take a pause to mourn the passing of their old friend. The mood turns somber, and more worryingly, silent.

Shit.

At this rate Dave might as well cut his losses for the whole week. Thankfully Karkat is unable to drop a problem he has, no matter how heavy it is.

KARKAT: LISTEN. YOU KNOW I’M NOT AFRAID TO GET A LITTLE MULTI-CULTURAL.  


Dave has to stop himself from making a joke, and he actually manages it for once. It’s been done, anyway.

KARKAT: BUT I JUST DON’T FEEL LIKE IT, OK?  


Now, despite popular belief, Dave was not a dumbass. 

A little self-absorbed? Sure. Most guys his age were. 

A tendency to be thoughtless? Admittedly. He was well aware of the fact his mouth was prone to prattle, and that his attention span could use some work.

Hell, an insufferable prick? Guilty as charged. Literally. Terezi's bright idea. Though he'll still swear up and down that trial was rigged. 

Nevertheless, in spite of the evidence to the contrary, he was a smart guy. More than that, he was a thoughtful guy.

So in a show of giving up, he sighs and sets the kazoo aside. Pretending to forget that he’s left his party hat on. A last ditch effort.

Karkat rolls his eyes and snatches the hat off Dave’s head, string snapping. Dave does a little “woah”, but Karkat neglects him to instead mutter about obnoxious human celebrations as he crushes that hat in his hands.

DAVE: ok ok message received  
DAVE: so what did you wanna do today?  


Sighing, Karkat shrugs as he bins the hat and kazoo. His expression settles into something resigned and thoughtful, lips tugging down as his teeth worry at his lower lip. Dave can’t help but watch motion, there’s just something about the shape of Karkat’s mouth that catches his attention. Artistically. Yeah.

Fuck, what was he doing? He needs to get this - whatever it is - back on track.

DAVE: we got tons of time its literally 1am and i know youve got no plans on sleeping  
KARKAT: AND YOU DON’T?  
DAVE: naw man im not going to leave you all alone here on the couch like that today of all days  
DAVE: youll get all lonely and existential and thats the last thing any of us need  
KARKAT: MAYBE I *WANT* TO GET LONELY AND EXISTENTIAL, DAVE. DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT?  
KARKAT: MAYBE I WANT ONE DAY OF PEACE FROM EVERYONE AROUND ME AND TAKE MY TIME TO SERIOUSLY CONTEMPLATE MY PLACE IN THE UNIVERSE.  
KARKAT: IN FACT ONE COULD EVEN ARGUE THAT ONES WRIGGLING DAY IS THE BEST DAY FOR THAT!  
KARKAT: IT’S ONLY A DATE THAT MARKS WHEN ONE CAME INTO EXISTENCE.   
KARKAT: SEEMS RELEVANT TO ME!!  


Aw shit. Now Karkat’s getting crabby, and not the good kind of crabby. More of the, Dave’s touched on something sensitive and Karkat’s feeling deeply emotional about it crabby.

DAVE: sure but that seems like itll get real heavy real fucking fast  
DAVE: and i dont think you actually want that  
DAVE: in fact im pretty sure youve long since gotten sick and tired of interrogating the reason of your existence and the expectations others have for you  
DAVE: when you can just *be* and enjoy that  
DAVE: and it doesnt need to be anything major either  
DAVE: or involve the 612 balloons i bought yesterday while on the grocery run  
KARKAT: YOU *WHAT*  
DAVE: nothin man i gave up after making 12 of em anyway  
DAVE: talk about a blow job unless youre an heir of breath i do not recommend  
KARKAT: UH  


There’s an awkward pause where Dave and Karkat simultaneously try not to think about John and blow-jobs, and not get flustered about it. They fail. Dave’s ears-tips have gone bright pink, and there’s an ashy-red tint to Karkat’s cheeks.

Sometimes, even if you are ostensibly over an awkward childhood crush on a friend, you just end up unintentionally thinking sexy things about them and it causes your entire train of thought to get derailed. This, at least, Karkat and Dave have come to an understanding on. They’ve even bonded over it on occasion.

Now is not one of those occasions.

DAVE: fuck um   
KARKAT: ANYWAY  
DAVE: *anyway*   
DAVE: thats beside the point focus karkat  
DAVE: im just saying we can spend all day inside if you want  
DAVE: ignoring messages while playing troll tony hawk or watching movies or making music or whatever  
DAVE: anythings better than what i know you had planned  
DAVE: which was to obsessively scroll through social media and get hung up on troll news all day even though itll make you absolutely miserable like it has every year  


Karkat makes an indignant sound, but fails to deliver an immediate snappy comeback. Because it’s true. Something about the date compels Karkat to self-sabotage in the worst ways, and Dave wanted to avoid that if at all possible. Has done his best to avoid it over their years together, with varying degrees of success. In fact, if Dave could manage to get Karkat to smile today, of all days, he'll consider it a win. A home run, if you will, but only as long as he doesn’t drop the ball. Because this is the big leagues, and going down for the count was out of the question.

DAVE: consider it a present to yourself dude  
DAVE: you deserve it  


Once again, it might not have been the right thing to say because Karkat’s face scrunches up in its unique little way. Dave watches the expression carefully, his own typically still as he attempts to translate the body language Karkat’s broadcasting. He’s not quite fluent, but he’s getting there. It’s definitely easier to read Karkat than it is most people, because even during his rare moments of silence, his body language was _loud_. From his exaggerated hunching, to the disdainful twist of his lips, for the life of him Karkat could not hide his true feelings.

And right now he was telling Dave that he was uncomfortable, and reluctant to concede the point even though a part of him knew that Dave was right. Or, well, perhaps ‘right’ is too strong a word, considering the disgruntled huff Karkat just made - as if he knew how Dave was reading him.

KARKAT: I HADN’T REALISED YOU’VE SUDDENLY BECOME THE GRAND ARBITER OF WHO IS DESERVING OF WHAT, YOU ARROGANT PILE OF GARBAGE.  


Dave saw that coming. He isn’t hurt by it, he’s basically known the drill since he met the guy. Karkat’s an insecure lil turd who can’t take a chill pill. At this point in their relationship it mostly just makes Dave pity him rather than want to bully him.

And yes. He means that in the troll way. 

It’s easy enough to bridge the short distance between the two of them, so he does. Dave’s hand gently paps Karkat on the cheek with little fanfare. It does nothing for him like it would for a troll, but Karkat immediately inhales with a shuddering breath and closes his eyes. _That_ definitely does something for Dave, a wormy little feeling squirming happily in his gut.

DAVE: man its so weird to see how even when youre meant to have gone all zen you still have a massive bitch face  


Whoops.

Probably shouldn’t have said that. Not in a moment like this.

Still, he couldn’t help but make the observation aloud. It be like that sometimes. Though at least it gave him a chance to see one of Karkat’s more neutral expressions, despite how sullen his face was even at rest. It still made it much easier to make out how handsome Karkat could be, when his face wasn’t contorted in one of his many grimaces. When they first met he had no idea just how attractive the guy could be thanks to that

Admittedly, at this point he finds the variety fascinating too - and ok, in a gay way. Not just in an artistic way, or even in a totally alien way like when he first saw the trolls. It’s win-win. 

Before he can say as much though, Karkat’s eyes slowly crack open to level Dave with a disdainful glare. The perpetual bags under them only emphasize his displeasure.

KARKAT: FUCK OFF. I DON’T WANT TO HEAR THAT COMING FROM YOU.  


Dave draws back, his lips pursing into a line. He just had to open his stupid mouth.

DAVE: goddamit  
DAVE: first of all a poker face isnt the same as a resting bitch face  
KARKAT: I DON’T SEE THE DIFFERENCE.  
DAVE: well i do  
DAVE: my face has been carefully curated for coolness  
DAVE: meanwhile yours  
KARKAT: YOU KNOW WHAT  
KARKAT: DON’T BOTHER.  
KARKAT: SORRY THAT YOU FIND MY FACE SO REPULSIVE EVEN AT REST!  
KARKAT: I DIDN’T REALISE YOU WERE ENTITLED ONLY TO THE HIGHEST QUALITY OF EXPRESSIONS I HAVE ON OFFER.  
KARKAT: FROM NOW ON I’LL TRY TO ENSURE THAT YOU’LL ONLY EVER RECEIVE THE MOST SHINING OF SMILES WITH YOUR ORDER OF GO FUCK YOURSELF FRIES AND A SHIT YOUR PANTS STRAWBERRY SHAKE. ASSHOLE.  


Oh fuck no. He brought Karkat back around to the self-loathing. This is really not what Dave wanted to get into. He regrets everything.

DAVE: no way dude you should only smile when you mean it, or at least when you find a stray chocolate beetle under the couch cushions  
DAVE: which brings me to my second and most important point  
DAVE: i like your face as it is anyway like theres always something going on  
DAVE: i never get bored looking at it  


A beat.

Dave can barely bring himself to look at Karkat’s expression now, but he manages. The troll’s face has changed from pissy to a strange mix of baffled and flattered. Dave knows that his own expression hasn’t changed, but he can feel a blush rise up his neck, somehow stronger than when he briefly considered another bro in inappropriate circumstances.

KARKAT: IS THAT MEANT TO BE A COMPLIMENT?  
DAVE: no its meant to be  


He takes a breath. Tries to be cooler than he feels. Than he may appear at this point, no matter how in control he’s trying to be. 

Dave was trying not to make this about him or his feelings. But maybe he has to, if that’s what will get through to Karkat.

DAVE: its a fact ok  
DAVE: i get shits and giggles from seeing how you react that aint a secret  
DAVE: but  
KARKAT: BUT?  


The way Karkat has drawn himself up, intrigued but judgemental, is beautiful too. 

It just isn’t something Dave can fully appreciate today.

DAVE: back to the main point  
DAVE: putting aside whether you deserve it or not  
DAVE: considering thats a whole can of beans  
DAVE: and you know what we do with cans of beans  
KARKAT: WE PUT THEM ASIDE.  
DAVE: right  
DAVE: i think todays better spent recognising all the reasons to be glad youre here  
DAVE: including the fact that youre not actually alone thanks  
DAVE: im right here  
DAVE: and i dont appreciate my guy being such a bitch to himself on his day  
DAVE: and while i dont expect you to even let yourself smile one of those rare crinkly-eyed Vantas smiles  
DAVE: the uglycute one where you try to fight it but you cant help it and it shows  
DAVE: itd mean a lot to me to cut yourself some slack and actually relax  


There’s a pause, and Karkat blinks like Dave just smacked him in the face with all that sincerity. Which isn’t too far from the truth. Then he sighs, nostrils flaring, but there’s a tell-tale tug at the corner of his lips.

KARKAT: WOW  
KARKAT: THAT’S SO FUCKING SELFISH OF YOU, DAVE.  
KARKAT: IT’S *MY* WRIGGLING DAY.  


Dave feels the corner of his mouth tug into a grin, too. He lets it happen.

DAVE: heh  
DAVE: yeah guess so  
DAVE: its a big ask i know  
KARKAT: DAMN RIGHT IT IS.  


Still, Karkat fidgets slightly before he allows himself to sink into Dave. Immediately, Dave wraps his arms back around his boyfriend.

KARKAT: I’LL AGREE TO *TRY* GIVEN CERTAIN CONDITIONS.  
DAVE: oh shit  


Score! Well, not quite yet. Dave still hasn’t gotten that smile he was going for, not really but the fact that Karkat’s coming around is a good sign.

Speaking of Karkat, he pokes at the bridge of Dave’s shades pointedly.

KARKAT: OH SHIT INDEED.  
KARKAT: YOU WANT ME TO RELAX, YOU HAVE TO PUT IN THE WORK.  
KARKAT: LIKE GOING COLD TURKEY ON THE INTERNET WITH ME  


Wait what.

DAVE: wait what  


Sure he mentioned avoiding social media, but this was extreme!

KARKAT: DON’T INTERRUPT.  
KARKAT: *AND*   
KARKAT: YOU KEEP THE SHADES OFF.   
KARKAT: ALL DAY.  
KARKAT: WITHOUT BEING A BITCH ABOUT IT.  


Oh.

Dave can see logic. He was basically asking Karkat to let down his defenses, but also…

It’s a selfish ask. More for Karkat’s benefit than for Dave’s, but is probably good for him anyway.

He reaches for his shades. Slow and deliberate, he pushes them up into his hair.

DAVE: happy  


He tries not to be a bitch about it.

KARKAT: HM.  
KARKAT: COULD BE BETTER.  


The liar. Dave sees how Karkat’s eyes shine, the pleased wobble of lips as their faces draw closer, an inevitable movement when they’re close like this. 

Smiles can wait though. There’s other ways to make his boy happy.

DAVE: birthday  


Equally as inevitable, the last word is murmured as their lips meet. It sets Karkat off, naturally, but in a good way this time.

**Author's Note:**

> Belated happy birthday to Karkat! At least I managed to post while it's still June...
> 
> Also my first time writing Dave POV. Phew. And here I just really wanted to write cute established davekat on Earth C fic.


End file.
